Interpretive dance and beer awaits

Click on that new page up there – the one after ‘home’ and before ‘team’. New Stuff. Make some suggestions for me. I will thank you through the medium of beer (and maybe interpretive dance). You don’t have much time! My birthday is almost here! Oh – I need something good to do on my birthday – so get thinking.

Your eternally affectionate captain salutes you.

 

STOP it. BAD.

Hey lt. – remember that time that was just the other day? You know, when we were sitting peacefully next to each other on the couch, and you lunged at me? Remember? Remember how you BIT ME?

I have a bruise. It’s yellow.

Naughty lt. No beer for you.

 

The joys of research

Me: You screamed ‘douche-bag’ at me, then started typing in the middle of my research proposal!

Him: I was only trying to be helpful.

 

pretty things

I like writing in italics cause they’re pretty but i might drive you crazy so i’ll stop now. It’s ok that i like pretty things. I am coming to terms with this realisation bout myself, even though everyone else already knows about it. The other night, I was tempted by some new grapefruit bacardi breezers, even though i don’t even drink bacardi-or grapefruit juice- just because they’re light pink and very pretty. Sometimes, i have dreams about a whole feast of pretty things. I think it should be one of Maslow’s five hierarchy of needs; physiological, self-actualisation, pretty things….. Speaking of dreams, there are some crazy ones floating around right now…as well as dreaming about pretty things( a pair of black lace up boots was the latest one of those things), last night i also had the strangest dream about an everlasting bucket of james squire beer that came out of an urn that was attached to a wall….i don’t even drink beer ( I know, i’m the adopted child of team capable). And i was waking beautiful lt. lucky up this morning from a scary dream and she looked at me like i was a monster. (I won’t go into detail, for fear of terrorising lt. even more.) but that’s ok, i know she didn’t mean to. Pretty soon though, I won’t have to just dream about having pretty things, I can actually buy them ( although, captain and i do have this irrational fear of buying things) Glee! Other pretty things… lt.lucky’s smile, scuppers blue puppy eyes, captain capable’s curls…. dn’t worry, i love you all for more than just your looks. I like smart things too. All my team capable friends are smart. I guess captain was right, i do like things. Srry, the italics were necessary that time. Sweet dreams xx

 

Are you Capable enough?

Have you got:

• A demonstrated capacity for capability?

• A nonsensical slogan?

• Recent activity in the small personal achievement sector?

• An ability, no – a compulsion, to regularly fall down and hurt yourself or others?

Then you just might be capable enough!

 

Team Capable

Team Capable is moving to wordpress! Because … I say so! Stay tuned for transferred archives! Possibly!

 

Done and done

Twelve posts in twelve hours.* Don’t let anyone tell you I’m not capable, unless it’s me, and I’m having a bad day, in which case believe me, but understand that any incapability is of the short-time-only variety, and I’ll be back to normal in the morning.
I leave you tonight with a snippet of conversation that I had with S only minutes ago.**

S: Where is the thing that I don’t know where it is that’s right in front of me?

Cpt: It’s there

S: oh

* Yep, that’s right – and one for luck
**Includes only minimal exaggeration

 

Proverbs that make no sense

Many hands make light work – Electricians make lights work

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush – Actually, unlikely. What do you do with a bird in your hand? Sell it? To who? What if the bird in your hand is a duck and there are two rare macaws in a bush … but that bush is in a cage? A cage which you own, including everything in it?

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe – this is almost entirely incomprehensible. Also, why not get one of your many lovers to paddle your canoe? Fine, be independent, but don’t be stupid. Delegate!

 

9 things that are funnier when you’re drunk

1. Genitals

2. Badgers

3. Badges

4. The confusion between badgers and badges

5. The phrase: ‘He’s an auteur’

6. Beer bottles crashing to the ground

7. Putting hats on dogs

8. Lt. Lucky

9. Falling over outside a petrol station at the feet of a girl in a yellow dress

(and one for luck…)

10. Jumping out at Lt. from behind a corner and going “AAAHH”

 

No, not in the dining room!

First line of “Amedee or How to Get Rid of it”:

“A mushroom! Well, really! If they’re going to start growing in the dining room!”

This might be the most awesome thing I’ve read in months. You know exactly what you’re in for, and at the same time you have no idea.

(Lt: I don’t want to have a colonoscopy. Do I even have a colon?)

And also, I know how Amedee feels. I half expect to find mushrooms and various other fungus forms in any number of rooms in my house. But I agree, the dining room would be too much.